About Me
Married, no children, no longer owned by a cat, but would like to be again, B.A. in English which is being put to good use as a food handler at Burger King. Okay, so it *is* being put to use as a library technical assistant in the evenings, but that's my part-time job, not my full-time. I want to be a librarian when I grow up.
Music
It depends on my mood, although I'm never in the mood for rap or heavy metal. My favorites are classic rock, folk rock, New Age, flute music (especially Native American) and Celtic. My favorite artist is Loreena McKennitt.
Movies
science fiction, fantasy, animated
TV
My favorite series is Stargate SG-1, which, unfortunately, just ended its 10-year run.
My current obsession is Eureka. I think that has more to do with the chemistry between Ed Quinn and Colin Ferguson rather than the storylines themselves, as good as they are.
Still, I love science fiction in general.
Books
My favorite genres are science fiction and fantasy. My favorite author is Isaac Asimov and my favorite book is The Book of Qualities by J. Ruth Gendler.
Likes
Cats, libraries, museums, nature (could live without mosquitoes), music and chocolate.
Dislikes
cruelty, bigotry, bullying
Hobbies
surfing the Internet, reading, listening to music and sometimes writing poetry, such as it is. I haven't written any lately, though.
Vices
I handle stress poorly; I get extremely emotional. I overeat when bored or stressed. I can get so wrapped up in my own little world I often forget about what others might need from me.
Virtues
I accept people for who they are and have a child-like curiosity about the world around me.
Heroes
anyone who is who he or she is in spite of society's best efforts to make them conform.
It's officially spring in my house. Today I had to remove a house spider from my bathtub before I could take a bath.
No longer being owned by a cat, the spiders are the closest things I now have to pets. As long as they don't build their webs in inconvenient places (such as anchoring one end of it on a package of toilet paper as one spider did), we live peacefully with one another.
I talk to the spiders when I remove them from the tub, usually along the lines of "Come on, sweetheart, you can't stay here. I need to take a bath and I don't want you to drown." I set them free in the bathroom to go wherever their little hearts desire, as long as it isn't back in my tub.
The last nine days (since 4:00 AM March 8) have been hell. I was already up, getting ready for work, when I received a phone call from my older brother's nursing home that he had died that morning. Jim had been in the hospital the month before for heart irregularities, but was doing well earlier that week when my aunt visited him on his birthday, which was the 3rd.
The doctors, incidentally, never did determine whether or not he had had a heart attack in February and when I received the news of his death, all I was told was that he had suffered "respiratory distress," a fancy way of saying he couldn't breathe. Yeah, I suppose not breathing would kill you, huh? Big help. We still don't know the cause of the "respiratory distress." Jim had a "do not resuscitate" order, so they didn't, although the hospital certainly did last month in spite of his wishes. His heart had actually stopped; he was revived via CPR.
Jim had already made funeral arrangements nearly two years ago because he had Social Security funds he needed to disburse. The only expense to his family were for flowers. Just like Jim--to be thoughtful and do what he could to make things easier for others. He had gone into the nursing home due to a major stroke he suffered in November 2005. He was affected physically, especially his right side, but his mind was still good. I visited him regularly, nearly every week, but I didn't get a chance to see him before his birthday. I was planning on visiting him the following Sunday. I won't ever see him again now. Too late.
What ticks me off more than anything is that I haven't really cried. What kind of a sister doesn't cry when her brother dies? Yeah, I mist up from time to time--like now while writing this--but I still haven't grieved. I'm very angry at myself for being so self-involved. Here I am, worrying about my lack of reaction instead of thinking about him. I've been a bit short-tempered the last few days, but, heck, that's a normal stress reaction for me. Is it unexpressed grief or my normal grumpiness, particularly my grouchiness on dreary, overcast days of which we've been having far too many? I don't know.
I did notice that I was the only one who touched him when he was in his casket. Everyone else shied away. Even so, I didn't touch his skin; I only placed a hand on his chest and told him I loved him. Still didn't cry, though. I didn't cry when Mom died, either, although I did have the comfort of having nightmares, mostly of burying her alive. I haven't even had nightmares from Jim's death. Maybe, on a subconscious level, I was already prepared for his death. Mom's illness came on quickly and she died within a couple of months from the time she was diagnosed. Jim was in that nursing home for two years.
Still, while he was never going to be able to leave the home, he was holding steady and had a farily decent life there, according to him. He made friends with his fellow patients and with the staff, and he had a friend who came by on a regular basis to play chess with him. I never knew Jim could play chess until I met Alan at the visitation. Checkers, yes--he kicked my butt regularly as kids--but chess? Apparently, he was a really good player, too. Jim never fails to impress me.
This was mentioned in church today in a sermon on random acts of kindness. I just had to go find the video for it at YouTube. The "adoption" happened back in 1999 or 2000.
I rarely write poetry anymore.This one was written over a year ago.This week’s nasty weather had me thinking
about winter and what it means to me. (I'm not too thrilled about the formatting, but I don't know how to change it to single-space in between the lines of poetry. Sorry.)
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Hi, I'm Donna and my hubby's name is Keith too! small world...lol blessings~
Talon*~03:14 PM CST